Time for personal thoughts,

I’ve been thinking lately, thinking about how, when, what to change. I am 21 years old now, just a matter of months to add a year. Yet i am still worried about my future, i can’t really tell what is it going to be for the next 5 years. Will i married? Nevertheless, will i get a job? I really hope i would but if i keep being a jerk to God, avoiding my responsibilities, always complaining about stuffs that i ain’t good at, then its just a matter of time till the biggest disappointment came.

I mean, like i said before. I really want to change, because everybody has to right? It’s inevitable. I just don’t know how, for a minute i feel like i need to keep things up to reach the top, become a success person. Have a proper job, a good income and then i can make my parents, families, friends, not to mention girlfriend (if i get a chance) happy for what i have achieved. That’s the plan! But mostly the passion to change is just……..disappeared.

Come and goes like money.

That is the best, appropriate description i can give you.

And i need a way to keep my motivation here in my brain.

Well, it is always fun when i goes. I feel free, no responsibilities, don’t really have to change is a good thing, screw all mature stuffs i just wanna live selfishly.

But when it came back and it hits me, everything seems worrying. Even my face (well, it is always good to be honest -.-). The point is i am worried, absolutely terrified about everything. Not just stuffs that i mentioned above but also about feelings. How people think about me, how they feel. Yeah i even think about that. And i think that was positive because it will recharge my body and mind to do something productive.

For today i think i did pretty good. I learn MySQL this morning while listening to pumping songs and playing lil bit video games. But don’t be disappointed i can assure you i learned most of the time this morning.

I think i might try to post something about MySQL, i still learning so if i post the coding tutorial now i might end up killing myself in maze. I DO get the concept though, but sometimes when i code the syntax were messed up, disordered. Logically the code won’t work, but for those who knew MySQL they’ll noticed what i am trying to do.

Damn, why did i write stuffs about that? This post isn’t about computer programming, dwiki. Sorry, i went off track. I’m just saying that i am trying to change, for today.

I know what most of you guys thinking, i probably change because the wind of changing is here right? (sounds like a song-title). Well, guess what? I think you might be right.It sucks.

Still, i will try my best to keep my life up. Do things positively, not wasting my time just to play games, sleeping, watching tv, and may more wasting time stuffs.

Alright then, i am running out of ideas what to type. So, i guess this is a wrap!

Gotta eat anyway, my stomach is growling. It’s 1 p.m here in Bogor, Indonesia.

See ya guys, try not to waste your time as i am!

Or perhaps i am the only person my age whom wasting time? -.-


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